This post has been two years in the making. Lots of conversations and plans and making commitments and then no follow through. Resistance and Fear have gotten the best of me. Then, last week I woke up with a distinct memory of the summer I wanted to dive off the high diving board. I cannot remember how many times I climbed the stairs with the full intent of diving into the pool head first, having friends and family watching and then jumping foot first... too overwhelmed by fear to take the plunge. That is exactly how I have been feeling about this blogging business.
Fear is a powerful emotion, warranted occasionally, certainly; but often crippling unnecessarily. Habitually, in the face of change (good or bad, planned or unplanned) comes fear. A defense mechanism that our inner critic engages in to keep us in our comfort zone? A response to being in uncharted waters? Whatever the reason it can prevent us from moving forward. This is what I have recognized in the last few months. I have wanted to plunge into the blogging world but have been so fearful that I have found a variety of excuses to avoid actually posting a blog. I have used my lack of knowledge of technology, lack of time, I am moving, I am working.... all of these simply guises for "I am afraid".
This leads me back to my attempts of dive off of the high diving board. When I finally overcame my fear and leapt, head first, through the air into the water I emerged triumphant, relieved and refreshed; fear vanquished and a new journey begun. That is what I hope for when I actually push the publish post button Wish me luck :)
Julie
